Happy Birthday Baby

Mike turned 47 yesterday. We had the afternoon alone (mom held down the fort) and went out to eat and to the movies...and after a cookout and cake, I got to go see him play! It was a great day.

Happy Birthday Babe <3

Track Meet / New Camera Lens

Today Jake had a home meet, and it was the perfect opportunity for me to try out my new lens that I have had FOREVER, but been afraid to try. It lets you take pictures from farther away, and makes the pictures look much closer and clearer. I am learning and working on it still! This is him in the relay race. He started their team out. He did so good! He gave them a great head start and they finished 2nd!
There he is passing the baton.

So while we waited for his races, I had time to practice some with my lens. LOL, can you guess what I practiced on? Say, someone with catsup and mustard on their face, mud on their knees, hair in disarray, Dora Underwear exposed, and hot pink Crocs, pretending to be a lion in a field.


You can't tell from the pictures, but I was quite far away from her, so she didn't know I was taking her picture :) I'm still working on the focus. Too cute that one is!

Tatum

When I was a teenager, my main goals of the week was to get through my day at vocational school. Keep my gas tank filled. Not run out of cigarettes. Secure plans with friends for the weekend.

Yes, I was more responsible than you are imagining ... I held a job and was very independant, and yes I was more reckless than you know, I was at a horrible run free age that took me many many places.

I think of this often now that I have a daughter the same age. Because I always knew I would be the cool mom and the one that could "relate". But our weeks are NOT the same. She is not at all like I was.

Sure she tries to keep her gas tank filled. And she holds a job, and her week is filled with friends. But I have never met a kid so grounded. I thought for sure, Karma was going to kick my ass on this one. I think my mother prayed for it.

(don't worry mom...there are 3 kids behind her)

She is awesome in many ways. Not only back then. When she made that 17 year old have to grow up and become a fantastic responsible mom. Slowly. Learning the hard ways sometimes. But now, she has chosen her own way, not the way I ever would of dreamed.

This is her report card. Junior Year. Third Quarter.

Physiology......A

Peopel.........A

American Literature.......A

Advanced Drawing...........A

Honors Pre-Calculus.........B

Problems of Democracy.........A

College Readiness...........A

I am bursting/beaming/ goofy with pride. Aww. Shucks. That's my girl :)

Life

Juggling. Busy. Happy. Full.

Summer cracked one of our 5 foot tall windows the other day waving {{pounding}} hello to a bird. We are all waiting with baited breath for it to shatter because you can actually hear little cracks occasionally. Our insurance company actually covers it due to her age! (minus the deduct able-blah ) One week for the glass to come in!

Windows open, fresh air in, weeping cherry in full bloom right outside my window.

Jake is in track and busy and happy with that. He had his first meet today. He is learning how to pole vault. He is getting huge muscles. It is amazing to watch his body transform into a mans. I don't remember with Tatum being this dumbstruck with this transformation they go through in puberty. He eats so much, and is growing so big. His feet are bigger than mine, he is getting taller by the day, his voice is getting deeper. My little guy is turning into his own guy...

Spring Cleaning, working on getting organized, working on my priorities...

I sent in my registration for the photography class. I did it. Money and registration. They confirmed I got one of the final spots. It starts at the end of the month. I feel like this will be the whole new beginning to a phase of me. I am open and ready and excited!

Dreaming, wondering, wishing, hoping, planning, plotting...

Tatum is getting her dress altered for the prom...it is ready to be picked up. Easter is around the corner, and so is Mike's 47th birthday! Registration for preschool, Matthew started soccer, Summer has been learning how to ride her big girl bike,I've been planning vacation for summer, ....OH, and a little life consuming thing called LAUNDRY.

"Life is a journey, not a destination."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Battle the Beast

This has to come out. And now it is coming to a head I feel. . . There are many outlets for all of us, and the blog for me has been awesome because I am a person that needs to write. Like, I NEED to write. At times I have something that needs to be put down to straighten it all out in my head or clear up. To document or be said, or even just to validate to myself. The blog has been great because at times it helped feed this "need" in me that I have. As we speak I reference to my notes that are scribbled on the back of a receipt from my purse. Words hit me while I was out with the kids today and I hastily wrote them on the only scrap paper I could find, so my profound words wouldn't be lost before I had the chance to really sit down and type. If you were to investigate my life you would find these little notes all around me. In my pockets and glove box, tucked in drawers. Ideas and thoughts. Notebooks and packets..... . . So the blog was great because it tapped into this area of writing that I can use. Alot of stuff doesn't get published. Alot of stuff does. Anyways, it really was great, because it helped my not only document our lives, BUT I got to use alot of pictures. I love the pictures. My blog has always been filled with pictures. Which is where I guess this all leading to.... . . As you all know I have been an at home mom for 18 years. Eighteen years is a long time. I love my kids fiercely, wouldn't change a thing, and KNOW that this what I wanted more than anything in my life. I am though, tired. And worn out. And wanting. And scared. . . . I am ready to start to move. Not just the dream part any more, but move. Towards something. And it is terrifying. I am ready to start to pursue my education in photography. Just a 10 week course to start off with. Just filling out the paperwork has given me heart palpitations. . . . It is so small a move, alot of you would laugh. But to someone who has never lived independently, or worked, or known different, it is terrifying. I think the biggest thing I am afraid of to tell the truth is defeat. Through these 18 years, I have tried to squeeze things in for "just me". And it was great. And needed. But they are not around anymore. All of them got too hard. Too hard to keep up with. And I think, "maybe I didn't love them passionately enough" Maybe the people that suck it up and truly are passionate are the ones who make it" Whether it was Bell Choir, or Exercise, or Volunteer work, they all eventually climbed on that pile of defeat. I'm afraid because I SO do not want this too become a casualty like the others. Like all my other attempts or crazy ideas. I want this. I want this to be really real. . . Here is some of my work. ALL of this is unedited. No photo shop. All of this is done by me.

I can do this. I will do this. I am licking the envelope now....

Four Days Of Four

Four Days of Miss Summer being Four.

Four years for Summer.

Four Kids we have.

They All Have been four.

None, do we bet, are going to be four quite like Summer....



She has hit this age running! It's like a light bulb went on, and she actuallyhad something in her brain say"THISISTHEMOSTOBNOIXIOUSAGEYET!!!!" OMG!, LOL!

She has.... in four days.....

had several roll on the floor tantrums... Like laughable roll side to side in the cartoon's arm flaying non reachable tantrums.

Had strep throat so bad, we had a early Saturday morning visit to Dr. that entailed a SHOT.

Was SO sick I carried her in, the shot worked so WELL, by noon she was swinging from the chandelier, LOL!

Has snored so loud one night that made us all switch beds and Mike ended up on the couch!

Had a nightmare one night and sat up in bed CONVINCED her toes had been totally eaten by bears...

Has a stash of stolen gum in her under ware drawer.


Oy...I think she is going to wear four out...!

I'm the Best Mother In the World!!!...Or Not

The other day, we had the weirdest weather. We had Ohio weather. Extreme Ohio weather.

The day had moments of sunshine. There were times of rain. There was wind and hail. It would come and go.

At one point in the day it was close to 80 and by nightfall we were touching the 30's. There was an hour there where we dropped liked 25 degrees, just in that hour. It was dramatic.

That would be the hour I would like to talk about.

Now this COULD be my shining moment as a mom. It really really could. Because I was all over this. I had this.

Let me set the stage. Birds chirping...sun shining...I'm picking up Summer from preschool. Wind starts. Rain starts. By the time I get home we are talking deafening HAIL is pounding my car. She is kindof getting spooked. I know that Matthew's bus is coming in a few minutes, and I also know that he is TERRIFIED of storms. OTHER parents are at the bus stops in their cars waiting for their kids {{of course}}, but our house is pretty darn close to the bus stop, so this is something I normally don't do. I think that a few inches of walking in hail would be horrible, so I decide to pull my car up to the stop too! But first I must get Summer inside.

{{Cue dramatic music}} With Hail pounding and her starting to cry, I pulled into the driveway and honked my horn for Mike to come out and get her. He comes out into the garage and looks at me like..."What in the heck do you want me to do?!?!" We had just bought a lawnmower and he put the huge cardboard box over his head and waddled out to the car to get Summer from me, dodging hail like and armored truck. It was so loud we couldn't talk or communicate. I backed out and pulled up to the bus stop.

I was blocking the neighbors driveway. Usually edicate me would worry so...desperate times call for desperate measures!!! I was breaking protocol of not only blocking a stop sign but blocking the bus from backing up....I threw caution to the wind. I was there for one purpose and one purpose only. To get my son safe, Lol. In the adrenaline of having my car beat to hell by the hail, the overwhelming noise of it all, the wind and the rain, I hunkered down to wait.

And wait I did. Because up the street, waited the bus. I guess school rules make the drivers put it in park when there is hail like this. So it sat. And I sat. And all the other parents sat. In this huge storm.

Finally there was a break. And the bus moved to our stop.

And do you know what.


DO YOU KNOW WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!??!!

My son didn't get off.

Yes. Yes. {{insert shining moment}}

Today is Wednesday.

WEDNESDAYS, Matthew goes to a social group after school.

I know this.

I KNEW THIS.

I forgot this in the passion of the moment.

I kicked my car in reverse and drove the millimeter home.

Sigh.

4 years ago....

HOLY H.E double Hockey Sticks.

.

.

This was me. Waiting for tomorrow. The next day. The BIG day. The day our caboose was coming to join us.

.

.

4 years later...I am getting ready to decorate many cupcakes in the design of little pigs and wolfs and make one amazing princess cake.

.

.

Pretty awesome.

Cleaning the Car

Today I have been waiting for.

Sun. (Oh Sweet Heaven, SUN!) And predicted 67 degrees for the temperature.

Something these here parts have not seen in awhile.

These are the days I have painstakingly waited for, that my ocd got the best of me and I had started around February looking up the sunrise, sunset calender everyday. Waiting and holding on for. The darkness came so early...the long cold rainy snowy wet grey days that I couldn't wait for spring.

And ALL that goes with it!

The cleaning and clearing out. The change of wardrobes. The airing out the house. The gardens!

The five day forecast I have been watching like a hawk. I knew that today was going to be THE BEST DAY EVER! On Tuesday as it rained and I slopped my way up the walk to Summer's preschool in the 30 degree weather, a man said to me sarcastically "what weather!!" I just smiled and said " wait till Thursday!"

So here it is. And it is awesome. The windows are open. The cats are out. And I have started the task of gutting the car after a bitter, dirty winter.

Gah.

The floor mats are scrubbing in the washer, and I with my bowl of soap went out to battle the seats and walls. This.....apparently.....gave me ALOT of time to think.

My car is like my drive away house. Except I ALWAYS stay in my room {{the driver}} and the kids are ALWAYS having free reign in THEIR room {{the backseat}}. Summer is sentenced {{thank goodness}} to ONE room {{her carseat}}, and because of this set up.....IT IS VERY VERY FREAKING GROSS IN THE BACK!

My husband has always treated me very well and taken care of me tremendously in the car department. I have always had a nice car to drive, and at this time, I have a super duper swagger wagon. I have automatic opening doors and hatches, and things happen with the press of a button. But this. This is all me. {{the cleaning part}}

Gah.

I am off now to vacuum. I am sure a small meal of crumbs will be sucked up. Along with a couple of UNO cards and maybe a mighty bean.

But I wouldn't trade it for the world right now. I am in the sun. At the end of the day I will have a clean car {{for awhile}}. Life is good;

Wordless Wednesday