Awake and Alive

***Experiencing Fall*** Lacey's Visit from AZ
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PumpkinPatch***SPCA,ARF,Leagueforanimalwelfare**curledhairbyTatum**stakingoutateenager
carvningpumpkinswithatoothpick**Ziplining**Deweyssucks**secretTexasRhoadhousewillynelson
booth**WatchedPetCemetary**overdoseonWhits**walkswithHenry**deletingmyaddict..SOB




DogPark**TreePicture**LoveyouMissyoualready!!!!!

Dear Lacey...I am Insane,

Dear Lacey,

Since we are best friends, I know you already know this, but I need to reiterate.

I am insane.

Since it is only 3 days now till you arrive in Ohio from Arizona, and I have meticulously planned and counted down the of your coming like the Apocalypse, you would think that everything is in tip top shape.

Since you know me so well, of course you know I have everything lined up amazingly well.

Since you know my life so well you know that nothing has gone as planned.

We both agreed that you have top priority and will NOT be sleeping in the garage, so there is that!

After Matthew's dental emergency which wiped out a precious school day, followed by Summer getting sick, celebrating Tatum's 18th birthday, sending Jake off to Washington DC with his 8th grade class, and being in charge of the afterprom's booth in the town Howl-O-Ween Dog Parade, I swear I tried to stay on course and clean and do laundry and stock up on our plans. But crazy ideas hit me....

Like painting a wall.

Red

Blood Red.

Well you know, I had these awesome pictures to hang, and there is no use hanging the pictures on a wall that could use paint, and shucks....you know.

I can't help that this was 2 hours before Matthew's football playoffs.

In another town.

And I am convinced now that I HAVE to have my air ducts cleaned! You Just may have to sleep in the laundry pile, because I had a whole panic attack thinking about the smell and dirt and build up of cat hair and mites and THEN watched a video on it...So they are coming on Tuesday. TUESDAY. (the day before I pick you up at the airport) to tear apart my house and do like a 4 hour thing. Seriously, nothing but the best for you. But I do realize I am insane. And I do realize that nothing else is getting done. Cause now I still have paint brushes sitting in the sink. And pictures all over the floor to be hung. And there is another day of Laundry to do now. Oh, and food. Crap. Food.

I am writing this to say...even though we have planned this for 6 months now. Could we do another wing it weekend??? hehe? Who knows. I might pull might shit together. But you never know when another wall will need to be painted, and....

Oh hell. Who are we kidding!

I just can't wait to see you!!!! We got this ;)

Whirlwind October, Whirlwind Life

This month is SO FULL of Goodness.

Dripping with goodness. I can barely hold it all in!

I am in charge of silly fun booth in an event for after prom called Howl-O ween in Historic downtown, where people dress up their dogs and themselves. Our booth is going to sell Homemade dog biscuits, made ALL by yours truly! (all 5o0 of them!!!) They turned out so cute and I am so excited for the day to get here!

Jake is getting to go to Washington DC with his 8th grade class. It is going to be filled with memories and deep wisdom, I could never teach him. The Holocaust museum and the grave of the unknown soldier is something you have to SEE and not hear about. He will have so much fun with his friends and get to branch away from Mama. Love him! Tatum holds this memory of going, and I'm so glad he gets this chance!

Tatum turns 18 in a couple days. Her and mine and Mike's card came to vote in the next election. It was a defining moment standing at the mailbox then. I am so filled with emotion over this. Everything that is here....is because of her. Our history. Our family. I am trying to come to grips with it all. We are taking Ryan and her to Bene Hanna's for her birthday and have a "special gift" planned! :)

The countdown is here! LACEYISCOMING! LACEYISCOMING! Ohmygosh. All the way from Arizona, Lacey is Coming! I am SO EXCITED! To show her FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have SO many plans!!!! I don't know we are going to fit them all in!

We are reading "The Stand" by Stephen King and plan to watch the miniseries (we try to do this book/mini series thing when we get together...last time was Lonesome Dove).

We are planning to Z.I.P.L.I.N.E!!!! over the fall foliage! YES! It is going to put indoor Skydiving to shame ;)

And I, amongst all the crazy cleaning for Lacey, I am delving into my newest photography project! Only a peek though due to copycats!

Love Love Love this wonderful Life I have been blessed with. My children and friends. So happy <3

Tatum and Ryans Photoshoot

Update on Posts

Sorry Sorry. I write these darn posts, and then I don't tell you how things turn out! I know...terrible of me!

Jake's Birthday was a success. He loved his dinner and gifts and his fondant cake turned out...ehh. Okay. I am happy with my first try. Surely not ready to be on Cake Boss or anything, but so happy I tried!

My dancing career came and it went. I will show you my LOOKING GOOD picture, and then I will so you my "why I don't go to clubs" picture. Again. Glad I tried it, double glad my sister in law had a great birthday, but I know who I am, and this is NOT it, lol!


yeeeaaah. Not so much Beyonce...huh?


And, on my back to school post, I didn't include SUMMER! She started Pre-K, just weeks later than when the other kids went back, so I NEED to put HER picture up too!!

She is IN LOVE with school. So much that on days she doesn't get to go, she asks me in a desperate voice "why won't you LET ME GO TO school today?!?!?!" Ssssiiiggghhh. believeme. Iwouldificould!!!
So there you go!~

White Girls Can't Dance

Something by starting a family so young, and throwing myself into mommyhood at such a young age is I missed out on the college years. I was completely happy with where I was...I was where I wanted to be! But by doing so, I did miss all of the stage of dating and going out, clubs, and dancing doing that sort of thing.

In some ways I was relieved. I am very happy in jeans, barefoot in nature being creative. Having babies and baking and reading and searching for my own fun was fine by me, and anyways I felt shy about even GOING out to somewhere like that. I sighed relief knowing it was not for me, but yet a part of me looked out of the corner of my eye like it could be fun.

My brother married someone with a completely different outlook.

She had my niece at 15, but that didn't stop her from having fun. After my brother and her married and they became a family, she would invite me to "go out" with her. This would terrify me to the core.

1. Because I KNOW the places they go to. lol
2. Because I would feel So out of place and embarrassed and not know what to do with myself at such places.
3. Because white girls can't dance. (at least me)

They would come home with thier war stories of how much fun they had, and how late they stayed out and who did what, and I would feel RELIEF. Buuuttt. It also sounded a little fun.

It has been almost 20 years now.

Of her asking.

I kid you not.

Yet, my loving SIL STILL asks me, even though I always tell her no.

Her daughter has now grown up and joined the group. "Please Aunt Becky...come with us"

This week is her 4oth birthday.



Blame it on midlife crisis. Blame it on breaking it out of the box. Blame it on my bucket list. Blame it on my tattoo on my arm I try to live by now....

I told her I'm in.

If she protectsmeandshowsmehowtodance.

My friend laughed at me, and told me I could always go out there and zumba! HA!

Omg. At least I will have my posse of family to have my back.

Spread The Word

A very dear friend of mine lost her son to Cystic Fibrosis this year. She has started a blog in hopes of healing some and helping some and maybe meeting some. Please go give her a visit and welcome her to blogging!

Go see her at Alive and Grieving

Who Gave Me This Badge, And Why Wasn't I Trained In Emergency Situations!

As I sat in football the other day, I was thrilled when one of the other cool moms "talked" to me! Not only is she heavy in the pulse of the school events and sports, but she like me has MANY children and was a young mom that had older teenagers and young ones.

She in return was thrilled to hear that I was an at home mom that could help volunteer at her big event she was helping run that was to help support "The After Prom". This....THIS is exactly what I was hoping to get involved in with Tatum being a senior this year. I had went and toured the after prom llllaassst year for her junior prom and almost fell over with how impressed I was with what they did for these kids! It is a HUGE safe bash they have for the kids to go to after the prom till 4 in the a.m. so they are not out drinking and driving or anywhere else they could get into trouble. It actually has become so big and cool and fun, that the kids LOVE it, and when I went to tour it last year I could see why! They had rooms set up like casino's, places set up with reality contest's (fear factor etc.), inflatables you could sumo wrestle on, henna tattoo's, every kind on food imaginable, fun picture photo shoots. Even a real porcelain toilet that was used in some kind of race, lol. It was geared towards teenagers, and looked like so much fun! They keep the cost low of just $10 tickets for the kids by many donations and lots of work by us!

I was going to go to the first meeting NEXT week, but HERE was an opportunity to get involved with the group now! (I also can't say no) So even though it was a monster week. I said my Friday was hers!

One special thing about our little country town is we have a train station. And every once in a while "Thomas the Train" comes! The after prom committee runs this apparently, and so before I blinked, I had a badge, a shirt and was running a bounce house.

Now mind you for half of the day I had my 4 year old helper. {{Thank Goodness}} She liked jumping in there, and got out when there came a line and too many people were waiting. She really was good about it all. She rounded up babies and drug them to the opening for mother's and helped quite a bit. Our day was going well.

No shoes....check
socks.....check
5 at a time....check

completely made up rules, but I'm a mom, so I GOT THIS!

I felt pretty cool with a badge and STAFF written really big on my back.

Then....

You see what happens when they give badges to people who don't know what the hell they are doing.

My 5 quota'd kids are jumping. Thank goodness Summer was one of the 5. And PHFTfffffffff..............

My castle. My air.

Starts to deflate.

Quickly.

With children inside.

And parents looking TO ME to do something.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII do not know how the hell this thing is PUT TOGETHER!

My first thought is that someone tripped the cord, and I run behind to try to plug it back in.

Nope.

That would be when the screaming started. Oh...and the panic.

I realized it was deflating in ON the children, and THAT is where I should run to.

So I ran back to the opening, and like a rescue worker getting in a burning building, I dig and hand crying little ones out to their parents.

I want to turn in my badge.

Whew.

The long and the short of it.....AFTER I found someone to help ME....was that the electrical breaker quit.

not funny.

I sold balloons then that afternoon.

not fun.

BUT.

Totally, saved the day, errr moment, and felt pretty good about THAT!

Wonder what my next event will have me doing??? HA!

Planting The Seed

I am planning a cake.

A wonderful cake!

I get more excited for birthdays and holidays I think than my kids sometimes.

I lay awake and dream and plan and work out details...

One year for Matthew's birthday I made him a Candyland cake...little starburst were the colored pieces for the game board. It came filled with a lollipop land and all kinds of wonders.

For Summer's 1st birthday I tried my hand at icing a cake like a pro and did it in little dollops of tulip cupped sized icing all over her little duck cake. It took over an hour.

There have been alligator cupcake cakes, and Barney cakes and Clifford cakes, and Dalmatian cakes. Worm in dirt cupcakes and princess cakes...

So this year Jake is 14. I was reading articles about what to make for a teenage boy. The article ACTUALLY said something like this.... (this of course is verbatim because I no longer have the article) If it is for a teenage girl...glam it up...star and glitter is the word. blah blah blah. If it is for a teenage boy...forget about it. Just have a cake. He will just want to eat it. What is important is a gift and having his friends over.

I think my heart broke a little.

I later found a cool looking ipod cake and I'm trying to learn how to make fondant for the first time. It is going to be awesome.(Note..this picture and cake is NOT mine...I found it on the internet!)

But here is the whole point people.

I was talking to Mike.

Never.

NEVER, have my children really given ME the satifaction at that precise moment I needed on their birthday. I always felt a little sad. The moment was rushed through, or ignored, or not enought praise was worthy of my effort, lol. BUT...

BUT....!!!!

A seed was planted....!

And usually.....USUALLY...


there came a time later....

like a sleeper cell....

where out of the blue, Matthew would say..."remember Mom, when you made that AWESOME candyland cake. Can you make that every year???" or or.... Jake will tell his friends.... "My mom makes the BEST angel food cake ever...it's my favorite". or Summer will tell people "I had a PRINCESS cake and it was AMAZING". And I know....I KNOW that it was so worth it. And it WAS important.

And that article is wrong. Because whether they show it or not, it is something they will carry with them as a memory from growing up. Somebody loved me enough to do this for me, and made me feel special.

This Is SO NOT Okay!

This is my poor Matty. AFTER, four days. AFTER two predizone shots. AFTER two doctor visits. AFTER creams and now oral steroids too.

Poor baby can't play football due to the helmet, so has missed practices all week. Has to go to a school that has no air conditioning. And is COVERED in poison sumac and ivy and goodness knows what.

He's been a trooper, but I wish this stuff sure would hit the road a little faster!