The New Eighteen

It is here.

The number we waited for, strived for, prayed to get to. Don't know what to do with now that we are here.

For so long our goal has been to make it. To make a house full of love, foundations strong, lessons we learned not needing history to repeat itself. We took the hard way sometimes and we took our way. We held on, and now we are having to let go. The difficult dance of when to do what, and where is HARD to know.

Sometimes I get heady and drunk on compliments and think to myself..."Oh wow. This was an amazing journey, and we did awesome!". And then other times I think if my body and mind and soul can handle this. Cause it all feels like it is breaking at once.

I almost think it got harder once the dial on that clock changed. We lost some leverage, and challenges arose. Seeing what you have hoped so hard for and then letting go, knowing they do not carry on with the same path you started for them. Letting them walk it now. Still being there to guide them, but oh how the rules have seemed to change.

This has been a bittersweet birthday. One that started 18 years ago with a girl younger than her, choosing a life for her and her baby. Now I have to learn how to let go and let her choose, but find the balance of always being there and loving her. It becomes a blur of your dreams for her and what her dreams are and the tightrope walk of standing your ground on respect but yet letting her fall if she has to. How do you let someone fall that you have always caught???

Anyways. It has been a month now since her birthday and oh what a field of emotions that have ensued since. I am just now getting to put up the pictures of her birthday. It was a beautiful night, and just how I had hoped. An elegant promising proud evening to honor our daughter, our first born whom we are so proud of and raised to this age.

Be Inspired

Do you hear that sound???

That music playing??

That is inspiration.

It broke through.

It broke through the static.

Thank Goodness, because the static was beating me down. {{{{The dog just peed on the newly cleaned carpets, and you missed your appt. with the High School for the college presentation}}}

THAT sound is the song I am learning to play right now. Yup. After, oh 20 some years of NOT really playing. I took piano for a decade as a child and just couldn't fit it into adult life. And when Lacey came to visit, and there was a slight pause in the static, INSPIRATION slipped in. In the form of Adele. {{{ 18 year old wants to move in with her boyfriend, 4 year old just cut her finger with daddy's razor}}}

I'm clinging to this. I will make this happen. When I get inspired, you have to watch out. I have lists and projects and this is at the top. Keys are being replaced and lessons are being sought. I am stabbing it out in my free time, yelling over the static if I have to! {{{ 14 year old could sell ice to eskimos and badger me literally to ulcers. 19 years is a long time to be married and I'm not in the mood for setting any records right now, lol }}}

{{{ Said 14 year old fed puppy half jar of nutella with is now in the form of vomit on newly said cleaned carpets, along with the chocolate milk that they are not suppose to have in the family room}}}


I feel pivotal.

Slide

Apple juice was still needed. People still needed clean towels. I knew if I held on tight enough it slowly would all just slide back.

My grip quivered the most it ever has though.

I Heart Fall

I love our little town we live in...you never know WHAT you're going to come across!

Awake and Alive

***Experiencing Fall*** Lacey's Visit from AZ
makingfondant**readingthanwatchingTHESTAND**GoingtoSGintherain**tastingGoldStarand WhiteCastleforthefirsttime**workingon"what'swrongwithyoupeople's!!!"computer(thanksforthe
ramandbackupthingy)



PumpkinPatch***SPCA,ARF,Leagueforanimalwelfare**curledhairbyTatum**stakingoutateenager
carvningpumpkinswithatoothpick**Ziplining**Deweyssucks**secretTexasRhoadhousewillynelson
booth**WatchedPetCemetary**overdoseonWhits**walkswithHenry**deletingmyaddict..SOB




DogPark**TreePicture**LoveyouMissyoualready!!!!!

Dear Lacey...I am Insane,

Dear Lacey,

Since we are best friends, I know you already know this, but I need to reiterate.

I am insane.

Since it is only 3 days now till you arrive in Ohio from Arizona, and I have meticulously planned and counted down the of your coming like the Apocalypse, you would think that everything is in tip top shape.

Since you know me so well, of course you know I have everything lined up amazingly well.

Since you know my life so well you know that nothing has gone as planned.

We both agreed that you have top priority and will NOT be sleeping in the garage, so there is that!

After Matthew's dental emergency which wiped out a precious school day, followed by Summer getting sick, celebrating Tatum's 18th birthday, sending Jake off to Washington DC with his 8th grade class, and being in charge of the afterprom's booth in the town Howl-O-Ween Dog Parade, I swear I tried to stay on course and clean and do laundry and stock up on our plans. But crazy ideas hit me....

Like painting a wall.

Red

Blood Red.

Well you know, I had these awesome pictures to hang, and there is no use hanging the pictures on a wall that could use paint, and shucks....you know.

I can't help that this was 2 hours before Matthew's football playoffs.

In another town.

And I am convinced now that I HAVE to have my air ducts cleaned! You Just may have to sleep in the laundry pile, because I had a whole panic attack thinking about the smell and dirt and build up of cat hair and mites and THEN watched a video on it...So they are coming on Tuesday. TUESDAY. (the day before I pick you up at the airport) to tear apart my house and do like a 4 hour thing. Seriously, nothing but the best for you. But I do realize I am insane. And I do realize that nothing else is getting done. Cause now I still have paint brushes sitting in the sink. And pictures all over the floor to be hung. And there is another day of Laundry to do now. Oh, and food. Crap. Food.

I am writing this to say...even though we have planned this for 6 months now. Could we do another wing it weekend??? hehe? Who knows. I might pull might shit together. But you never know when another wall will need to be painted, and....

Oh hell. Who are we kidding!

I just can't wait to see you!!!! We got this ;)

Whirlwind October, Whirlwind Life

This month is SO FULL of Goodness.

Dripping with goodness. I can barely hold it all in!

I am in charge of silly fun booth in an event for after prom called Howl-O ween in Historic downtown, where people dress up their dogs and themselves. Our booth is going to sell Homemade dog biscuits, made ALL by yours truly! (all 5o0 of them!!!) They turned out so cute and I am so excited for the day to get here!

Jake is getting to go to Washington DC with his 8th grade class. It is going to be filled with memories and deep wisdom, I could never teach him. The Holocaust museum and the grave of the unknown soldier is something you have to SEE and not hear about. He will have so much fun with his friends and get to branch away from Mama. Love him! Tatum holds this memory of going, and I'm so glad he gets this chance!

Tatum turns 18 in a couple days. Her and mine and Mike's card came to vote in the next election. It was a defining moment standing at the mailbox then. I am so filled with emotion over this. Everything that is here....is because of her. Our history. Our family. I am trying to come to grips with it all. We are taking Ryan and her to Bene Hanna's for her birthday and have a "special gift" planned! :)

The countdown is here! LACEYISCOMING! LACEYISCOMING! Ohmygosh. All the way from Arizona, Lacey is Coming! I am SO EXCITED! To show her FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have SO many plans!!!! I don't know we are going to fit them all in!

We are reading "The Stand" by Stephen King and plan to watch the miniseries (we try to do this book/mini series thing when we get together...last time was Lonesome Dove).

We are planning to Z.I.P.L.I.N.E!!!! over the fall foliage! YES! It is going to put indoor Skydiving to shame ;)

And I, amongst all the crazy cleaning for Lacey, I am delving into my newest photography project! Only a peek though due to copycats!

Love Love Love this wonderful Life I have been blessed with. My children and friends. So happy <3

Tatum and Ryans Photoshoot

Update on Posts

Sorry Sorry. I write these darn posts, and then I don't tell you how things turn out! I know...terrible of me!

Jake's Birthday was a success. He loved his dinner and gifts and his fondant cake turned out...ehh. Okay. I am happy with my first try. Surely not ready to be on Cake Boss or anything, but so happy I tried!

My dancing career came and it went. I will show you my LOOKING GOOD picture, and then I will so you my "why I don't go to clubs" picture. Again. Glad I tried it, double glad my sister in law had a great birthday, but I know who I am, and this is NOT it, lol!


yeeeaaah. Not so much Beyonce...huh?


And, on my back to school post, I didn't include SUMMER! She started Pre-K, just weeks later than when the other kids went back, so I NEED to put HER picture up too!!

She is IN LOVE with school. So much that on days she doesn't get to go, she asks me in a desperate voice "why won't you LET ME GO TO school today?!?!?!" Ssssiiiggghhh. believeme. Iwouldificould!!!
So there you go!~