Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My Letters

Dear Baby...(Summer)

You crack me up on a regular basis. You also drive me batty. The other day in the car as you argued with Matthew you said the funniest thing. Matthew asked you to say (repeat) a simple word like "car seat". You refused to play that game and promptly told him "NO", even though we all know you surely can say it easily. Matthew persisted in this game and encouraged you to talk and continually asked you to say words to in with you would reply "No, no, no!". Finally he asked you to say a word that I agree was out of your realm of talking, and begged you to say the word "confiscate". You being quite irritated by this point with the whole thing, yelled "I AM THE BABY!!!".
I'm sorry we all laughed, and we dutifully noted that:)

Your Mama

Dear Husband of almost 17 years,

I sheepishly come to you with an apology over last night discussion in bed. I am sorry that I brought up the fact that it was the 17 year anniversary since you slept with someone else right before meeting me. I admit I am 3 days behind on my anti anxiety meds, and was quite surprised when Aunt Flo showed up today for a visit. I know that we don't really want to find her on Facebook and ask her how she is doing. I also know that you have been 100% faithful to me since the day you met me and adore me. I'm sorry about your shins. They must be sore today. I get carried away sometimes don't I??

Your sweet again wife.

Dear Swine Flu,

Go away from my family. Do Not come near us. It is enough that I came to the realization that YOU are the flu shot that my dad got in '79 that activated his dormant Multiple Sclerosis cells. It is also enough that because of this he got full blown MS and suffered and died by age 50. I think it is pretty fair to say that you have the upper hand in this now that neither I or my children can get the vaccine for sheer fear of it happening to us. You are a bully and you are scary, and I can't protect my kids from you. Stay the hell away.

Not even kidding,
One mean Mama Bear