Saturday, June 27, 2009

Foulness I should not know about

I am sorry.

I know things.

Things I don't think I should, and I have to get them off my chest.

Please to my Mom, the faint of heart, or easily offended... Please skip this post. (don't say I didn't warn you)

Apparently the world has a whole slew of nasties that I was blissfully unaware of, but felt the need to be called to my attention. I alone cannot sit on this information without spreading the word. That is not in my nature.

Numeral one: The term Jerk Sock:
While watching our newest passion, the complete series of "Weeds", this topic rears it's ugly head. The people in the show are having plumbing issues, and the plumber diagnoses the problem as the toilet having to have tube socks snaked out of it. It ends up this widowed mom is going to have to face a sensitive topic with her coming of age son, who is using his socks to hide this issue, and then flushing them.
I look in horror over at Mike, and as my mind races in a panic a) first of all that boys DO do that (Not necessary the flushing the sock thing but what is IN the sock thing) b) that we have TWO boys and one of such nearing that delicate age ...and c) that it is our job to be the ones to talk to him about such matters!
So now I am horrified, grossed out, nervous, and panicked.

Oh the joys of motherhood. These surprises just get better and better.

Numeral two: Where Ice Cream Truck Workers use the bathrooms:
I personally avoid The Ice Cream Truck like the plague to begin with, but for no other fact than it is ridiculously priced, my kids think that just because he comes down the road with his music on that it is a given that they get ice cream, and undoubtedly it ruins their dinner. It seems quite literally that I am about dishing it on to their plates when I start to hear that "How much is that doggy in the window?" in the background. But I guess I never thought much further on their job detail.
This week at the baseball park I got a little more information than I wanted. While I was in the parking lot, the Ice Cream Truck pulled up, and illegally double parked right in front of the smelly port o potty's they provide for the park. Out hopped our fine Ice Cream Lady who went into the port o potty and in a flash came back out with her shirt half tucked into her elastic jean shorts. Back she hopped into her truck, and was shoving lunch into her mouth as she drove away. Now given at a port a potty there is no where to wash your sinks and soap. But she had no hand sanitizer either...and was off the sell ICE CREAM to CHILDREN!
Could she not stop at a gas station at least and use a bathroom with a sink, or carry disinfectant in her truck? Do they not let her go in to other business establishments I wonder?? All I know is that we are NOT buying ice cream from the truck at all. I can buy a box of 24 Popsicles for the the price of one gumball Sponge bob anyways.

Numeral Three: And this one I have to laugh at, and I put on here in admiration.
A family member was short on gas money for his young family, and decided to take bets from the guys at work to make some extra cash (doing ridiculous stuff!)
One example was for $20 to eat a stink bug.

He did it!

I heard it did NOT sit well for the next several hours!