Peaceful and still.
These are the days that a pizza man is gone. GONE. This is also a point we profusely disagree on. I don't think safety is something worth money. He doesn't think safety is even an issue.
I don't know what has gotten in to me but I know this past year has taken a toll. I can't pull myself out of it. I feel I am mean. Well, I know I am. I have become mean. A mean person. I feel so angry and resentful at times I take it out all day long. I can't sleep at night. I lay awake, and have constant disruptions and am taking way more prescriptions medicines than I care to admit.
Then again we have times that are just so perfect, I feel my old self and think I can pull it all back together again.
This past weekend when we went out for dinner with our friends it was such a good night. After we came home and put the kids to bed, surprisingly they all stayed that way, we had an evening to ourselves. It was soo late and we were up still and being silly. I got my camera because I had taken my hair down from the fancy hair do I had had done. I had curls spilling all over and I looked ridiculous. Mike and I took shots of each of and laughed and played and loved.
I slept so good that night and woke up smiling. I need to carry those feelings with me through everyday. Through the mundane and boring. Through the disagreements and time apart. Through the lack of sleep and frustrations. How do I do that though?Darnit.
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