Monday, October 27, 2008

Sweet on Mike

The other day, a friend of mine called to tell me that a couple we know were getting a divorce. The man was leaving the wife for another woman.

It always seems to astound me how much news like this shocks me. I maybe have always just had the safe falsehood of "this would never happen to me", but I know that this woman had to of had the same thoughts. She was in love, had a family, had been married for years, was married to her best friend. Thinking of all this unnerved me.

I grew up in a house where hell or high water, my parents stayed married. They were put to the test too. 17 years of battling Multiple Sclerosis to the bitter dirty end....divorce was never even an option. You just got through it. Together.

I guess in my naiveness of getting married, I just knew deep in my heart Mike was my mate. Yea, we fight...Yes, we really don't like each other at times. Yes, divorce crosses your mind when time get gritty and low...BUT, you never really go through with it. How could you....really.

I came home heavy hearted and told Mike my thoughts, and we talked it out. He said some really smart things.

1. I made my choice. He said that he had prayed for years for the chance to have a mate and a family, and he knows how lonely and hard life can be. He would never mess that up.

2. When something that looks better comes along....get it out of your system and move on! Yes the grass looks greener sometimes. Doesn't it to everyone sometimes...Is it really? No, I don't think so. "Get that shit out and get it over with".

3. People he knows that have taken on this change, still never got over it. Even though they moved to someone new, they always still carried the sorrow and bitterness. They never really did get to "leave the situation". It still chased them.
This conversation made me love my husband even more. Because I know our marriage is a choice. A choice we have to make work every day. And we choose each other.

No, it's not our anniversary, or a special date. I just wanted to say to the world how much I love this man. Who works so hard everyday for his family. Who loves me!?!

Since we had a shot gun wedding in '93, on our 10 year anniversary in '03 we took a cruise, and renewed our vows on the beaches of Key West. I just would like to share with you the wedding poem I wrote to him.

Ten years have flown by, but I
Love you more each passing day
We have built upon our own
History, and it has been fun!!
We are a unit. Our lives have held
So much that is intertwined that
I don’t know how I could be me
Without you by my side.
Here is a collection of little things
Of why I love you so much.


When you kiss me goodbye for
Work & your cologne rubs off
On my clothes, & I can smell you
On me for hours

When you call me chick-a bee

When you said “lets go to church
This morning

When you grow your beard or have look great!!

That you love music & put your
Whole heart into it when u play

That you cook dinner and never

That you love me even with my
Never ending faults

That you have our baby boys hairs
Grow long and curly

That our children look like little

That you faithfully take Matty to

That you live in a house-o-cats and
All that it entails, just because of me

That you cried when my father died

That you watched our children take
Their first breath

You never once told me to quit smoke-
Ing- you let me do it on my own

You were there for my graduation

That we were soo excited when we
Bought our trailer that we ran from end
To end of it laughing

That you let me have puppies in your

Now it is almost 16 years together. I want to see it to the end baby. And I am so lucky it is with you!

***Please know that this is not intended to put down ANYONE who has every had to leave a marriage due to abuse. Toxic situations like that you NEED TO GET OUT OF***